Life is EXCRUCIATINGLY Long . . .

Funny how I have stopped thinkin about him all together

NUMB really is the NEW "DEEP"

Being content with someone who makes me so happy

But JM is still hung up on JA sad

I feel your pain John and your wisdom rings more true then ever ... keep it comin

"I don't think that life is short. So I think you should stop saying that. 'Life is short, man.' No it's not! Life is excruciatingly long. Let me rephrase that. The life you got left is excruciatingly long. The life behind you, it's done. So yeah, life is short, but only when you turn around and look at it. But if you keep looking forward, you got a lot of years to think about. If you don't think life is long, if you life every day like life is short, you know what you become? A fuckin' asshole. You gotta live your life like someday soon you're gonna hit some miserable Tuesday night that's just gonna seem to go on for days and days and days. Waiting for either some phone call to come that doesn't come or some phone call to stop that won't stop. Because as it's laid out in front of you seems to go on forever. But look back to when you were 4 and it seems like last Sunday. So just keep looking forward and keep your good heart on you and keep doing the best you can do and love who you love the best you can love."

We wont break we wont die it's just a moment of change

New Beginning's are always so random. NEVER did I expect to get asked out by a prize winner and on top of that click with someone so well, to have a calm force balancing my life. I have finally found someone who would do anything to make me happy and can see what a fine gem I am and does not think of me beneath the mud waiting to be polished. It's funny how sometimes god closes what you think is a 500 pound door that you cant ever open again, then unexpectedly someone with allot of foresight comes along and shows you it was never a door at all but a painting on the wall , and then helps you chip the paint away :)

So then this morning I have this in my Inbox
"If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that JENI REY REY is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I've ever met. She's one of the most lovely people I've ever met in my life and I'm going through something that's a very personal thing and you have to give that up. You have to give everything up because you can't have it all and it sucks. I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great. I ended a relationship because there is no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don't want to waste some body's time if some thing's not right. I don't waste people's time.”

I thank him for putting it into words- ironic in every way- but yet on point

-R


Funny choice on who to paraphrase don't you agree ??? The person you despise THAT my Friend is ironic. . . So I can only assume that he is in fact MY Jennifer Aniston . . . . . and thank god its over now . . . funny how the strong have fallen huh ? Here's to you and hoping that you too can find "Someone To Save You"

Sorry I cant lie. . . So I'll just say good bye

Funny how life works . . whats in a name does it make someone into the person that they are GOD I hope not . . . anyhow told Goobs today Look baically you should feel badly about how you treated me throughout our "whatever it was" to which i was told i was guilt tripping again Looks like someones definition of Guilt Trip is anytime someone makes you feel an emotion you did not make yourself feel Guilty and Guilt Trip ARE NOT INTERCHANGABLE get it through your ignorant fuckign skull!!!!

But for me Today is not about forgiving , but forgetting and finally having a reason to move on . . . This Cd came in the mail off Amazon just moments before our convo happend Def have owned and lost it at least 3 times previous to this

DEF pick up "Gravity" Our Lady Peace

Today's a reason for living
Today's the blood from a stone
Today's the light from a candle
Helping us to find our way home
Today we carry each other
Today the past is a freak
Today is the time for forgiveness
You were never that good to me
I'm sorry I can't lie
I wasted too much timeDrowning, I've been blind
But I've opened up my eyes
Sorry I can’t lie
So I'll just say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Today is tasting the honey
Today's the strike of a match
Today's the lines in the pavement
Helping us to find our way back
Today's the crosses we carry
Today's the strength that we need
Today's the hand of an angel
You were not the kind to believe
Today we carry each other
Today we do what we should
Today is the time for forgiving
Today I wish I could

It could never have been enough ...

Theres nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

Theres nothing in between

You know the truth

Nothing left to face

Theres nothing left to lose

Nothing takes your place

When they say

Youre not that strong

Youre not that weak

Its not your fault

And when you climb up to your hill

Up to your placeI hope youre well

Theres nothing left to prove

Theres nothing I wont do

Theres nothing like the pain

I feel for you

Nothing left to hide

Nothing left to feel

I am always here

When they say

Youre not that strong

Youre not that weak

Its not your fault

And when you climb up to your hill

Up to your placeI hope youre well

What you want

What you lost

What you had

What is gone is over

What you got

What you love

What you need

What you have is real

Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough, Im sorry
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enoughIts not enough...
When they say
Youre not that strong
Youre not that weak
Its not your fault
And when you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope youre well
Its not enough
NoIts not enoughIts not enough

FUCK the lobby music. . . . seriously son

So where I sit for work they have a speaker witch rotates all five stations every 12 min. This has already resulted in Benny Mardones "Into the Night"(my favorite song of all time) being cut off at least 3 times. :( SO I play my Itunes and feild at least 10 questions from prize winners per day "what station is that?!?!?" Sometimes a song will catch my ear out of the ceiling,and I will turn off my music to hear it better, only some songs catch my ear and with no ryhme or reason I wonder is it because my ear and my brain make some conection and link to my heart and I
end up attachting feelings to a song that never reminded us of that person before . . . :(

Anything for you
Though youre not here
Since you said were through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forevers been and gone
Still I cant figure what went wrong
Id still do anything for you
Ill play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way
I can pretend each time I see you
That I dont care and I dont need you
And though youll never see me cryin
You know inside I feel like dying
And Id do anything for you
In spite of it allIve learned so much from you
You made me strong
But dont you ever think that I dont love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things dont work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
I hope you find somone to please you
Somone wholl care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to
And Id do anything for you
Ill give you upIf thats what I should do
To make you happy
I can pretend each time I see you
That I dont care and I dont need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know youll never see me crying
Dont you ever think that I dont love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things dont work out right
And you just have to say goodbye. . . .


Good Bye