In light of recent stalkerish events I will post this in case you dont get the message STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE

Seriously GET OVER YOURSELF I dont want you in my life

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT BUDDY

I found REAL love so to reinterate what i said 3 months ago ITS OVER

New John Legend ft. Kanye West "It's Over"

Now What Do You Keep Standing There For Its Over, Its Overrr

(Its Over) In The Back Of My Mind I Question Why I Keep Calling

I Guess Im Just Used To Getting My Way Im Spoiled

I Dont Wanna Be What You Want Me To Be

So When I Call You're Just Yelling At Me (I'm Sorry It's My Fault)

Oooh & The Clothes I Brought You Can Still Wear

Did You Store The Cards & Teddy Bears

See There I Go Again Sticking My Nose (I'm Sorry It's My Fault)

Now What Do You Keep Standing

There For Its Over, Its Overrr

(It's Over) Girl Talking To Myself In The Mirror Is Strange Enough

So You Gotta Know Sharing This With You Is Painful

You Know We Used To Talk About Our Future (It Ain't Just All My Fault)

(I Know, I Know We Used To Talk About It Babe)

So Say Goodbye To The Way The Leaves Would Fall

The Way We Stand In The Rain & We Would Ball

(We Would Cry) Just Say Goodbye To The Walks & Talks & The Dogs In The Park

(& It Ain't Just All My Fault)

Now What Do You Keep Standing There For It's Over, It's Overrr


(It's Over) We Lost A Four Leaf Clover Dont Ask My Shorty Be Over News Flash Shorty

We Over We Like Def Jam & Hova

We Like Bobby & Whitney Except Without The Kiddies

Just Like Pamela Anderson's Career Except Without The Tittes

We Had Some Good Times Didn't We

I Know I Won't Forget That

But We Had Some Bad Times & That's Time I Wish I Could Get Back

But I Love You I Can't Let Go

Now I Just I Just Don't Know You Been Around Me Long Enough To Know That Now It's Over.

Now What Do You Keep Standing There For It's Over, It's Overrr

It's Nothing We Can Do With It

So You Might As Well Forget It

(It's Over) Like We Never Ever Did It

PLEASE accept the fact im happy and its not with you

just Believe . . . . . . . .

The dictionary defines Believe as: to accept as true, genuine, real, to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something

I am extremely sick of people asking me what my tattoo “means” and I only have a lifetime of this bs left.

If you notice I got it so that I would be able to read it , not anyone else that word has held a special place holder in my life for sometime now, I think it takes feeling truly hopeless to attach ones self to a word so powerful as Believe.

The Secret which some people may not know or care about is the Law of Attraction.

According to proponents of this law, thoughts have an energy that attracts like energy.
In order to control this energy, proponents state that people must practice three things:

1. Know what you want and ask the universe for it.

2. Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.

3. Be open to receiving it.

Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires.

So on a basic level I suppose it is an everyday reminder for the second step


So I guess this blog is as much for everyone else as it is for me. It is one word that holds many meanings for me and that is why I have permanently marked my body with it

Believe in wishing wells

Believe in shooting stars

Believe that dreams come true

Believe what you feel

Believe in miracles

Believe in angels

Believe in love

Believe two hearts can learn to beat as one

Believe the impossible

Love came in with the fall breeze. . . .

Have not written in a great long while because well things are perfect.

I have found the worlds sweetest guy and there are not words to describe my happiness.

I honestly never thought I deserved this kind of elation, Maybe because I never had it I just gave up hope, Funny how "the Secret" works i could not imagine a better person to have come into my life besides Ryan.

I guess the world works in mysterious ways , I dealt with what was probably the single most abusive and damaging relationship ( if we can ever call it that) for 7 months and always hoped it would somehow pull a caterpillar and grow a cocoon and magically change over night

As soon as my heart gave up any pathetic notion that this would ever occur , God , fate , destiny whatever it was brought the most beautiful butterfly into my lobby

Since the day I saw him fly by I have changed

I realized after a long 22 year wait that my wings are beautiful too and tucking them in all this time has been worth it to be able to spread them with someone so uniquely special :)

Life is EXCRUCIATINGLY Long . . .

Funny how I have stopped thinkin about him all together

NUMB really is the NEW "DEEP"

Being content with someone who makes me so happy

But JM is still hung up on JA sad

I feel your pain John and your wisdom rings more true then ever ... keep it comin

"I don't think that life is short. So I think you should stop saying that. 'Life is short, man.' No it's not! Life is excruciatingly long. Let me rephrase that. The life you got left is excruciatingly long. The life behind you, it's done. So yeah, life is short, but only when you turn around and look at it. But if you keep looking forward, you got a lot of years to think about. If you don't think life is long, if you life every day like life is short, you know what you become? A fuckin' asshole. You gotta live your life like someday soon you're gonna hit some miserable Tuesday night that's just gonna seem to go on for days and days and days. Waiting for either some phone call to come that doesn't come or some phone call to stop that won't stop. Because as it's laid out in front of you seems to go on forever. But look back to when you were 4 and it seems like last Sunday. So just keep looking forward and keep your good heart on you and keep doing the best you can do and love who you love the best you can love."

We wont break we wont die it's just a moment of change

New Beginning's are always so random. NEVER did I expect to get asked out by a prize winner and on top of that click with someone so well, to have a calm force balancing my life. I have finally found someone who would do anything to make me happy and can see what a fine gem I am and does not think of me beneath the mud waiting to be polished. It's funny how sometimes god closes what you think is a 500 pound door that you cant ever open again, then unexpectedly someone with allot of foresight comes along and shows you it was never a door at all but a painting on the wall , and then helps you chip the paint away :)

So then this morning I have this in my Inbox
"If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that JENI REY REY is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I've ever met. She's one of the most lovely people I've ever met in my life and I'm going through something that's a very personal thing and you have to give that up. You have to give everything up because you can't have it all and it sucks. I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great. I ended a relationship because there is no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don't want to waste some body's time if some thing's not right. I don't waste people's time.”

I thank him for putting it into words- ironic in every way- but yet on point

-R


Funny choice on who to paraphrase don't you agree ??? The person you despise THAT my Friend is ironic. . . So I can only assume that he is in fact MY Jennifer Aniston . . . . . and thank god its over now . . . funny how the strong have fallen huh ? Here's to you and hoping that you too can find "Someone To Save You"

Sorry I cant lie. . . So I'll just say good bye

Funny how life works . . whats in a name does it make someone into the person that they are GOD I hope not . . . anyhow told Goobs today Look baically you should feel badly about how you treated me throughout our "whatever it was" to which i was told i was guilt tripping again Looks like someones definition of Guilt Trip is anytime someone makes you feel an emotion you did not make yourself feel Guilty and Guilt Trip ARE NOT INTERCHANGABLE get it through your ignorant fuckign skull!!!!

But for me Today is not about forgiving , but forgetting and finally having a reason to move on . . . This Cd came in the mail off Amazon just moments before our convo happend Def have owned and lost it at least 3 times previous to this

DEF pick up "Gravity" Our Lady Peace

Today's a reason for living
Today's the blood from a stone
Today's the light from a candle
Helping us to find our way home
Today we carry each other
Today the past is a freak
Today is the time for forgiveness
You were never that good to me
I'm sorry I can't lie
I wasted too much timeDrowning, I've been blind
But I've opened up my eyes
Sorry I can’t lie
So I'll just say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Today is tasting the honey
Today's the strike of a match
Today's the lines in the pavement
Helping us to find our way back
Today's the crosses we carry
Today's the strength that we need
Today's the hand of an angel
You were not the kind to believe
Today we carry each other
Today we do what we should
Today is the time for forgiving
Today I wish I could

It could never have been enough ...

Theres nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

Theres nothing in between

You know the truth

Nothing left to face

Theres nothing left to lose

Nothing takes your place

When they say

Youre not that strong

Youre not that weak

Its not your fault

And when you climb up to your hill

Up to your placeI hope youre well

Theres nothing left to prove

Theres nothing I wont do

Theres nothing like the pain

I feel for you

Nothing left to hide

Nothing left to feel

I am always here

When they say

Youre not that strong

Youre not that weak

Its not your fault

And when you climb up to your hill

Up to your placeI hope youre well

What you want

What you lost

What you had

What is gone is over

What you got

What you love

What you need

What you have is real

Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough, Im sorry
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enoughIts not enough...
When they say
Youre not that strong
Youre not that weak
Its not your fault
And when you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope youre well
Its not enough
NoIts not enoughIts not enough